It is an odd feeling I get when I finish a painting (or at least make myself stop working on a painting). I'm not sure they are ever really finished…just complete enough to allow me to want to go on to the next canvas. I still go through and add strokes or adjust lines on 'finished' paintings that live in my studio, even though they have been 'done' for quite some time.
When I finish a painting, especially one I have worked on for a long while, it is a mix of feelings actually; but I think more of a sadness that the conversation and dance with the painting/canvas has come to an end, and now I have to let it be on its own out in the world to face the eyes of strangers.

Painting for me has always been like tackling a set of challenges that need to be worked out and solved in order to meet my expectations of the visual message or story I'm trying to portray and convey. Someone asked me the other day if I'm ever really happy with my paintings in the end, or if I ever feel disappointment. I immediately responded that I'm sure I don't feel disappointment, but I do always wonder if I have done the canvas justice or not.
After thinking it through more later, I guess in truth it is a disappointment, but not because I'm not happy with the end result, but because our painting story has come to the last chapter even though I refuse to read the words – the end.

I admit, there are times I am disappointed and the painting just doesn't work, and just didn't exist as I had wanted it to exist, and so it must be abandoned. Not forgotten mind you, just set aside to tackle at another time.
I know that I have satisfied my end of the bargain with a painting when I find myself really wanting to look at it. Very close and far back, I move back and forth taking in the subtle details I have worked in with each layer. I find myself evaluating my performance as a painter. Did I technically execute this painting, and solve each challenge the best that I could have? Such is the case with the painting pictured here.

As I work through a painting I make notes in a notebook about what I wish I had done different, or how next time how I can better achieve an effect, or how I can add a layer here or there with a different medium. In between I will swatch a dab of paint to remember a colour mix I liked.
Before I begin my next painting I review all my notes, start to finish and I challenge myself to figure out how I can be better as a communicator, a painter and a creator to my canvases and for me.

As my latest painting dries, I am beginning to go back through my notes, as I am already sketching out the next idea and have a fresh canvas on the easel eager and ready to go. I have also noticed some additional work that will need to be done on this painting when these current layers dry…

At any rate, the goal is always the same. Paint for myself first and hope that others will like it enough to want to look at it close and far back. People don't have to like it, I just want them to want to look at it, and maybe even think about it.